Everyday Baby Steps

An Amazing Surprise

marybabysteps — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:40:48 -0700

Yesterday afternoon, I looked out my front door and saw a package. I didn't order anything and thought it must have been something from my mom. Then I saw that it was from Amazon. That didn't seem like my mom's style. She usually sends things for the kids and uses about a roll of packaging tape to secure the box. She also includes bright, pretty stickers or labels. It's pretty hard to miss a package from my mom!

So I brought the box inside, wondering what it could be. When I opened the top and looked inside, I saw the first book, The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life by Julia Cameron, and I knew who it was from. Last week, I talked on the phone to my blogger friend, Angela from Unexpected Art. She talked to me about her blogging experience for my Friday Feature Profile series, and we also got to talking about off-topic things like books. Angela highly recommended Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way, for unleashing your creativity.

Sure enough, The Artist's Way was also in the box, along with The Artist's Way Workbook, the companion journal to the book. I nearly cried. This wonderful woman, whom I never even met face to face, knew that these books would be meaningful to me and that I'm not currently in a financial position to buy them for myself. So she sent them to me with this note, "Just a little something to get you inspired."

This act of friendship of kindness is more than "just a little something", and I will use the books to move my writing and my personal growth in the right direction. Thank you, Angela, for your kindness and for your inspiration! For your friendship, I am thankful.

Blissfully Domestic: A New Look and a New Tagline!

marybabysteps — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:05:39 -0700

Remember the tagline contest I won for Blissfully Domestic? Well, they've unveiled the tagline along with a whole new look for the site! The tagline I wrote is - "Your Life. Your Bliss." Go check it out at the newly revamped Blissfully Domestic. What do you think? Be sure to take a look through all the great channels for some great information on all kinds of subjects, including home, style, health, marriage, and photography. Don't forget to leave a comment if you love what you read!

Mary Gets Her Groove Back!

marybabysteps — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 08:00:51 -0700

I had something exciting happen to me over the weekend. I won a contest. You all know I LOVE contests. This one was a contest by Allison Worthington, also known as Mrs. Fussypants. See her link down there on my blog roll? I love her. She's also the editor of Blissfully Domestic, the online lifestyle magazine I contribute to.

Alli put out a tweet on Twitter last week asking people to submit their idea for a new Blissfully Domestic tagline. The prize? A piece of jewelry from her boutique, Fussypants Designs. When you see this jewelry, you'll understand why I started brainstorming.

I don't consider myself a very creative person, but a cute tagline idea did come to me, so I decided to tweet it to Fussy. I didn't give it another thought until yesterday morning when I received a message from her saying, "morning. You won the BD tagline contest. Email me your address, OK? I haz bling 4 u!" Ooh, bling! I was ecstatic.

Then I realized that I wasn't happy simply because of the prize itself (although I do love beautiful jewelry, don't get me wrong), but because of the other gift Alli gave to me - validation that my ideas are good. You may remember that I left my previous job as a college adviser due to a negative work atmosphere, with people who really brought me down. I spent a long time in that working environment, feeling like my ideas didn't matter and wouldn't be received favorably. I allowed my self-esteem to plummet.

Since leaving my job, I've worked very hard to get back to my former self. Starting this blog has helped me more than I can express. Receiving a nod from Alli and the Blissfully Domestic editors that my tagline was the best submission for the magazine means the world to me and helps me to remember that I am a smart and savvy woman with some great ideas. Thank you so much for choosing my entry and helping me to regain my sense of who I am.

** I will not divulge the tagline yet, as I'm not sure what Alli and the Blissfully Domestic editorial staff have planned for its unveiling.

Do Women Have a Negativity Receptor?

marybabysteps — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 02:50:01 -0700

There is an article in the August issue of O, The Oprah Magazine that I have been contemplating for a few weeks now. I've been meaning to write about it a while, but other topics have come up. However, it's still been lurking in the back of my mind, so I've decided that it's something I'm meant to explore.

"YOU Are an Excellent Woman!" proclaimed the headline on the cover. Well, who could resist picking up the magazine and flipping through it, right? I've been interested in women and identity formation since taking an Introduction to Women's Studies course my freshmen year of college. What an eye opener it was to learn about concepts I had always intuitively known and to have them validated by other like-minded women!

Back to the magazine article, titled "Women and the Negativity Factor." The writer, Aimee Lee Ball, discusses her own personal experience with feeling not "good enough", and she reminds us of a line in the movie Pretty Woman in which Julia Roberts responds to a compliment from Richard Gere, "The bad stuff is easier to believe."

Why? Even the strongest, most intelligent, spectacular women I know are prone to silly, stupid insecurities. We tend to let fear hold us back or we add qualifiers to our sentences such as "It wasn't too hard" or "Anyone could've done it". Why don't women give themselves full credit when receiving compliments? Why do we worry that our flaws will be exposed?

According to a neuropsychiatrist quoted in the article, "It turns out there's an area of your brain that's assigned the task of negative thinking." There's also a phenomenon called "the drive for self-verification" involved, in which we desire others to "reflect the beliefs we hold about ourselves". It's this drive that causes the bad experiences to override the good and makes it easier to believe the negative.

The good news from the article is that scientific findings state the brain is forever changing and that it is likely to adapt to modifications in our negative thinking. The more we work to turn our thinking around, the easier it will be for our brains to process our experiences in a positive way. The experts quoted say that a change in thinking won't occur overnight; it will take time to outweigh a lifetime of ingrained experiences. They liken this change in thought process to that of the change in your body after engaging in a regular workout regimen - just as your body will become toned and lean, your thoughts can become more positive and forgiving. It's nice to see a scientific angle to the psychological approach I've taken both personally as well as with former clients and students. I firmly believe that thoughts drive actions and behavior. The trick is to practice the positive thinking to bring about the feelings we desire.

Positive Living

marybabysteps — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:04:32 -0700

My friend, Angela, from Unexpected Art is amazing. She started a Positive Living network, and I just admire her for it. Her tagline is "Working to be positive in an increasingly negative world." It really is work to maintain positivity, but it's work well spent, in my opinion.

I recently joined her group and jumped on the bandwagon of her 30 Day Challenge. For the challenge, you name something you're grateful for, each day increasing the number by one. Today is day 10, so here's my list of the 10 things I'm grateful for:

1. My bubble bath this morning!
2. Brady sleeping very well last night.
3. Kids getting themselves ready for school this morning w/o much nagging.
4. My blog.
5. Twitter.
6. Connecting with really neat people.
7. Sunny day, nice temps.
8. All the love in my life.
9. The chance to try new things.
10. That I can still fit into SOME of my clothes 6 months after having baby!

Thanks, Angela, for helping to keep me positive and reminding me to be grateful. You're a great pal!

If ths sounds like a group you'd like to be a part of, please go on over to Angela's positive living network and tell her Mary sent you!

A Little Organization, Please

marybabysteps — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:15:13 -0700

I was true to my word and took yesterday off to recuperate from the back-to-school frenzy. It was nice, I must say. I played with the baby, took a nap, and did some reading. But it's back-to-work for me today! It's also What If. . .Wednesday, the day I contemplate doing something different, out of the ordinary, to move me along my path to productivity and fulfillment. After a bit of thought, I realized what I must do - I have to clean up some of this mess in my workspace!

I'm not an organized person, by nature. Remember the whole attention deficit disorder thing I told you about? One of the tell-tale signs for women with ADD are piles everywhere. I've learned to live with my piles of crap, but I know I can be more productive if I at least try to organize the area where I will be working and spending the majority of my day. Take a look. My "office", which is along one wall of our bedroom, could definitely use some organization!

Pretty messy, huh? It's my style. But I vow to spend little time this weekend tidying and organizing while the kids are at their dad's. Any tips on ways to corral and file papers would be much appreciated!

Remembering Past Successes

marybabysteps — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:03:27 -0700

I was reading this article about hating your job, and it got me to thinking. I've mentioned before that I left my job as an academic advisor at the local community college shortly after finding out that I was pregnant with Brady. But I haven't really talked about the reasons behind my decision.

Lots of people think it was a CRAZY decision (it probably was) because my job paid more than my husband's, I had good benefits, and it's a job that I went to school to do while so many of my friends are working in careers that are in no way related to their degree. There are many reasons for leaving, none of which had anything to do with the work itself. I loved my job. I enjoyed working with the students, had a great time teaching a course on study skills, and was able to help people navigate the pursuit of an education while dealing with real life.

The problem was the work environment. In addition, the state grant that paid my salary was ending. However, never before had a job caused me so much inner turmoil. My direct co-workers were such negative people; dealing with them caused me to begin to doubt myself and my abilities. I'd worked long and hard to become comfortable in my own skin, and I realized that working with those people on a daily basis had caused me to regress, sending all my progress flying out the window.

Take a minute to skim over this article. Of the "10 Signs It's Time to Quit", the only one that does not apply to my situation is "You're watching the clock every 10 minutes". I wasn't bored with my job. I really did love what I was doing and found it to be quite fulfilling. In the two and a half years I worked there, I received an award from the students for "Outstanding Academic Advisor of the Year" two years running.

Which brings me to my point. After leaving the job, I had an incredibly difficult time coming to terms with my decision and dealing with the loss of identity that comes with such a life transition. It was hard for me to believe I would get back on my feet and be successful again. I've hung those awards on my wall, along with my college diplomas, as a reminder of my past accomplishments. I'm hoping this reminder will motivate me and push me onward when I want to give up my goal of becoming a freelance writer and just get a job at the mall to help with the bills. I was good at what I did once, and I can do it again. I hope you'll take some time this What If... Wednesday to think about your past achievements and to consider your future possibilities.

And the Winner Is. . .

marybabysteps — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 13:24:42 -0700

Willow, from Apron Strings and Angst! She didn't even think she was entering the giveaway for the Mary Kay Satin Hands Pampering Set, but she signed up for the 29-Day Giving Challenge and commented on my page there. So she was entered. That's just the kind of person Willow is. She signed up for the Challenge only for personal growth and for the experience of giving. So it's only fitting that she should receive. Remember what Cami Walker, the founder of the 29-Day Giving Challenge, said about the reciprocity of giving - "If I’m constantly giving but not open to receiving back, I’m going to deplete myself. It’s actually depleting on your energy to overgive. . . abundance is actually being truly open to sharing - giving and receiving, both ways.” So, congratulations, Willow! You will soon RECEIVE your Satin Hands set in the mail. I just have to get your address!

I'm Feelin' the Love!

marybabysteps — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 15:00:47 -0700

One more thanks goes out this morning. This time to Willow at Apron Strings and Angst. Willow chose ME for an award - the "Sharing the Love Award", no less. I'm so honored. Today is a banner day for me with the recognition I received from MomDot (see post below) and this wonderful award! Thank you, Willow.

Memoirsofamommy.com says The rules of this award are: SHARE THE LOVE!!! Share this award with all those blogs out there that you love. All the people who make you smile. All those that make you laugh. All those that make your day. All those that leave uplifting comments on your blog. **All I ask, is that you include a link to this post with the award and ask your recipient to do the same**

Choosing blogs to pass the love onto was hard. I love so many. But here are my choices, those blogs and bloggers that have had an impact on me or to whom I feel a connection.

Walking Through - Nadia is so eloquent; she writes absolutely beautiful posts. And her insight always puts things in perspective for me!

Magic and Mayhem - Alicia's blog is new to me, but I feel like I've met a kindred spirit. She adds an intelligent spin to her posts that I love.

We Make Three - Myra writes some of the most heartfelt posts and was one of the first people to welcome me to the blogging world. She's just wonderful.

One-Woman Show - Of course, I can't forget Susan. She's my writing buddy, the first blogger friend I met in person. And she's funny; her posts are so relatable!

ParentsCanada.com - Lisa is a freelance writer who has been very generous in offering me advice. Her site is packed full of great content and useful information for parents.

Ann Again...and Again - Doesn't everyone love Ann? She's so friendly and honest in her posts. She's also a hoot - she cracks me up!

There they are - the blogs I'm sharing the love with . Go check them out, and tell them Mary sent you!

A Giveaway and a Challenge

marybabysteps — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:24:27 -0700

Sorry this is so late in the day. I had a migraine this morning that just would not quit. But, as promised, today is the day I will tell you more about Cami Walker and the 29-Day Giving Challenge. Oh yeah, and the giveaway. Of course, I didn't forget! I will also tell you how you can win the fabulous Mary Kay Satin Hands Pampering Set I told you about last week.

[caption id="attachment_173" align="alignleft" width="183" caption="Cami Walker - Founder of the 29-Day Giving Challenge"][/caption]

The 29-Day Giving Challenge is the brainchild of Cami Walker, a woman from California, who started the challenge personally on advice from her spiritual teacher and who, then, took the movement globally through her website, 29 Gifts.org. The premise is simple, give something away each day for 29 days, but the results can be extraordinary.

I was fortunate enough to speak with Cami last week about the Challenge, as well as the results she's seen both personally and from others, and her views on how giving can improve our lives. This young woman was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis shortly after getting married. Finding herself bedridden due to the progression of the disease, Cami says she was in a very dark place. When advised to step outside herself and her problems to give to others for 29 consecutive days, she thought the idea was intriguing and wrote it down in her journal. It was not until months later that she took her first step toward beginning her journey of giving. She says, of the challenge, "I was very hesitant to actually do it because, it was like, I was so inside my struggle that I did not know how to even take the first step to change things for myself." One night during a bout of insomnia, she saw the note in her journal. According to Cami, "I gave my first gift that morning. I made a phone call to a woman who also has MS, and I did a free reading for her, and that just sort of started this snowball!" Cami considers herself a "business intuitive" and does readings "primarily around business, money, and career."

She soon saw her circumstances, attitude, and health begin to improve. She gave her spiritual reading at 6:00 a.m. and received a call two hours later from a large non-profit organization requesting her consulting skills. Coincidence? Maybe. But she continued forward and decided to head out of the house for some breakfast. Her husband dropped her off at a local diner where she chatted with a man, who later, anonymously paid for her meal! She decided to give walking a try and was able, with the help of her cane, to walk the six blocks to her house. "That first day," Cami says, "things started to change and by my 29th day of my first cycle of giving, I had $8000 in receivable income. I'd gone from zero to eight grand in 29 days!"

She attributes all of this to a change in thinking and focus. "To me, it's a good example of how powerful our thinking is. I spent a hundred percent of my time thinking about what was wrong with me when I was sick. If that's all you think about, that's what you create. My thinking went in a completely different direction. I was no longer focused on everything that I couldn't do. I was actually focused on "What am I capable of today, and what do I want to do today? What do I want for myself today?" Finally, she says, "A lot of time, especially women, we tend to give and give and give, but we're not really open to receiving. Giving in its very essence is reciprocal. If I'm constantly giving but not open to receiving back, I'm going to deplete myself. It's actually depleting on your energy to overgive. . . abundance is actually being truly open to sharing - giving and receiving, both ways."

Incredible words of wisdom from an incredible woman. Check out her website at www.29gifts.org to sign up for the 29-Day Giving Challenge. Here you'll learn more about the challenge, ways you can give, and ways to connect to others involved. Her goal is to get 2,000 givers by September 29th, and she just hit 700. So spread the word and sign up. Visit my page here and leave a comment to be entered in the drawing for the Mary Kay Satin Hands Pampering gift set. It's from my own inventory and is just one of the 29 things I'm giving away for my challenge! Don't forget to leave your comment on my page at the 29-Day Giving Challenge to be entered to win. I'll be choosing a winner Sunday evening at 9:00 p.m. EST and will announce the winner Monday! Go, sign up. Now.