Everyday Baby Steps

When I first began this blog, I wrote out my short-term goals for the summer.  One of which was, of course, to lose some of the weight I gained while pregnant with Brady.  I'm sure I mentioned to you all that I failed in that area miserably.  That's okay, I've done pretty well on most of my other goals.  And I am taking baby steps here, right?

But then I watched a bit of The Biggest Loser last night on TV.  That's the show where people compete to lose the most weight in a given time period, for anyone who's not familiar with it.  I was shocked and scared by what I saw.  Contestants were given their biological age in comparison to their chronological age and actually shown some of the trouble spots of their anatomy compared to that of a healthy person.  They were given visual proof of their clogged arteries, over-burdened hearts, and impaired lungs.  It really hit home for me.

I know I eat terribly and exercise very little.  It's a vicous cycle, I know that as well.  It's a cycle I must admit I haven't worked very hard to break.  I think I've been so focused on and overwhelmed with everything involved in starting a new career that I've neglected my health.  Everyone knows food is used as an emotional crutch, and I'm sure I'm guilty of that, too.

However, just as I've taken baby steps to move closer to my other goals, I will do the same with this one.  First thing is to resist the vicous sweet tooth I possess.  I will not eat the Cocoa Puffs for breakfast or snack mindlessly on the M & M's (though the peanuts ones are the very best!)  The next step will be to purchase groceries that will allow me to avoid wheat and milk, which I'm allergic to.  It is possible; I've done it before.

A reader once asked me to share a dairy-free, wheat-free recipe.  I'll share my favorite banana muffin recipe with you next week to show you that there are foods out there I can eat, and that taste good.  My cooking bible is called The Gluten, Wheat, & Dairy Free Cookbook and contains lots of recipes that actually taste good and contain no wheat or milk.  Leave a comment if you know of any good recipes or advice for people with food allergies or would just like to encourage me and hold me accountable.  I could use all the help I can get!  Thanks.

Woohoo!  I actually did it this weekend.  I cleaned my office area.  Hip hip hooray!  I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted.  I'm feeling so good about cleaning up my act, that I'm inspired to keep up the momentum by tackling my basket in the kitchen.  Each member of the family has their own basket, except Brady, and I have to confess that mine is the absolute messiest.  Even the kids have cleaned their baskets out.  My turn.  Compared to the office, this should be a breeze!

So, wanna see the before and after pics?  I'm so proud of my  ccomplishment, of course, I'll show it off!

[caption id="attachment_364" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="BEFORE - Messy desk"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_365" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="AFTER - Clean, organized desk"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_366" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="BEFORE - Trashed bookshelf"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_367" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="AFTER - Beautifully arranged bookshelf"][/caption]

Isn't that better?  I purged things I didn't need.  Reorganized so that the notes and folders I use regularly are within arm's reach on the desk.  I moved other things to the top of the shelf.  I also organized the shelf so categories of books are together in one place.  I moved office supplies from the shelf to the filing cabinet so there would be room for everything without being tempted to just toss stuff on top.  I did all of this while listening to some fabulous music from my library on last.fm.  The music helped to motivate me.  Your tips also helped tremendously.  I also decided to do a little research of my own and ended up with an article called "5 Tips to Tackle Organizing Your Home Office" for doWAHdiddy.  That's my favorite thing about being a writer - I can research and learn about things I'm interested in or need to know, then get paid to write about them.  How cool is that?

It's official.  I didn't win either of the contests I entered over at MomDot.  But that's okay, the kids and I did have tons of fun doing them!  I was entered into a random drawing of five finalists for the blog header contest, but my number wasn't picked.  You know what, though?  I actually do like my flowers.  My blog doesn't look like anyone else's, and I think that's cool.  I was pretty bummed that my hideous earrings didn't win me the cute Little Windows jewelry.  But check out the winner - her earrings deserved the ugliest jewelry ever award!

Now onto what I'm NOT losing - weight!  The email tips from Self.com are not at all the motivator I expected.  I thought I would get a daily exercise and diet tip, but what I received was a how-to for a particular exercise move.  Not that I can blame my lack of willpower and willingness to get off my butt on Self - that's all me, baby!  But I HAVE been focusing on my writing and on making contacts in the media world.  I'll update you on that soon!  Maybe once the kids go back to school NEXT WEEK, I can start trying to improve my diet.  It's hard to resist when they're coming to me every hour saying, "Can we have a snack?  We're STARVING!"

It's Wednesday - the day we challenge ourselves to step out of our box, try something new, leave our comfort zone.  I have a blogger friend who has motivated me to do that.  She's an aspiring writer (she's written a novel!), and the steps she's taken to pursue her writing career have helped to inspire me to jump in and begin my own writing pursuits. 

But now she's gone too far.  She went and took an actual jump - out of an airplane!  Sorry, Susan, you're on your own for this one!  I'm just not that crazy adventurous.  You can read about her adventure and even watch a video of her insanity here.

Since I refuse to take such an insane big leap, I've decided to go for a more reasonable goal.  If I really want to become a paid writer, I have to send out queries or pitches to paying publications.  So I've decided to really go for it by trying to send out one query or manuscript each day.  "A query a day helps get Mary some pay!"  What do you think?  Wish me luck!

Today's theme is What If. . . Wednesday.  What if. . .?  What if you stepped out of your comfort zone to try something new?  What if you decided to strike up a conversation with that really cool mom at the park?  What if you applied for the fabulous sounding job of a lifetime even though your current job is okay? 

So many of us stick to our everyday routines, go with the flow, or hold onto habits.  Since leaving my job as a counselor at the local community college, I've discovered I'm much happier the times I've taken a risk or tried something new.  Take this blog, for instance.  I'd say putting my life, struggles, and insecurities out there for public view is stepping out of my comfort zone just a bit.  But, in doing so, I've developed a renewed sense of purpose, found the motivation I needed to start writing, and met a lot of interesting people along the way.  The rewards were worth the risk.

As I work toward my goals, I will continue to take risks, and I'll share those endeavors with you each Wednesday.  Maybe following my leaps will inspire you to take some baby steps of your own.  And please feel free to make a comment and share your experience; what if. . . we motivate each other?

This was to be the week I started my new blog format.  And I've been really good at not procrastinating lately, so I promise you I've got a good excuse for why I've decided to hold off until next week.  Drum roll, please. . . I'm going out of town to visit a girlfriend!

I never go anywhere.  Really, I'm not just saying that.  The big kids are at their dad's for a week, so there's no reason why I shouldn't have said "yes" when another friend asked me to go with her to visit our girlfriend across the state.  Except for the fact that my first friend can't go now. 

The old me would've said, "I can't afford the trip.", "I have too much to do here.", "I'm too nervous to take the baby on a four-hour long car trip."  So my first instinct was to forget about going altogether.  But this friend has done a lot for me.  She came here after the baby was born to give my sleep-deprived self a break, AND she took ALL the night feedings!  That was wonderful.  So how can I not take this opportunity to visit her?

And what about my list of goals?  Didn't I say I would remember to stay in touch with my friends for support and encouragement?  Yes, I believe I did.  So, in true baby steps fashion, I've overcome my resistance and am looking forward to my mini-vacation.  Maybe next summer I'll take the kids to visit grandma in Missouri.  Maybe.

Well, I've been working on my goals for about a week now.  And, actually, things have been going quite well.  Okay, moderately well.  My biggest downfall has been that dirty four-letter word, my diet.  Food is my weakness.  Especially sweets.  My husband swears I'm going to become a diabetic.  He's probably right.

But at least I'm aware of my food issues, and I've taken steps to nip them in the bud with my favorite strategy, finding a book about it.  And I've found a fabulous book.  Not the traditional weight loss program we've all tried (Atkins, Weight Watchers, South Beach, yada yada yada . . . ), and you know you've tried 'em, The Writing Diet: Writing Yourself Right-Size   by writing guru Julia Cameron (author of The Artist's Way) actually seems different.  I'll admit that I haven't finished it, but just reading the first few chapters has made a difference already - I can't wait to read the whole thing.  When I do, a complete review/progress report will follow.

This book doesn't make you count calories or points, measure your food, or cut out everything even remotely tasty.  Cameron focuses on using the creative outlet of writing to tackle your food issues.  Lord knows I have issues.  The chapters I've read so far are "The First Tool: Morning Pages", "The Second Tool: The Journal", and "The Third Tool: Walking". 

The three tools alone are just the "baby steps" I needed to get me motivated.  If you'll remember, I'm allergic to wheat and milk, which makes eating right darn near impossible.  But it's not impossible with some creative planning and tactical grocery shopping.  So after filling the cupboards with foods I can eat and looking through my wheat and dairy-free cookbooks, I was ready to tackle the tips given in the book.

The Morning Pages are basically a free-write you do each day.  The premise is that letting the words flow onto the page will lead to insight into your daily struggles and problems.  My writing led me to see that I'm really struggling with a loss of identity since leaving my job as well as feeling a bit lost due to lack of structure.  So I'm focusing on my new job title of aspiring freelance writer and sticking with the routine I set up in my goals.  The Journal is basically a food journal.  But you don't just record what you're eating; Cameron encourages you to write about your feelings or thoughts regarding the food.  This leads to more insight.  Per her suggestion, I've also taken out my journal when a "Snack Attack" hits.  And it's actually helped me to avoid bingeing on the yummy things I shouldn't have.

My favorite part, so far, is Walking.  Just twenty minutes a day, according to Cameron, will not only improve your body, but also promises to lead to a flow of creativity.  I was skeptical about this.  I've always enjoyed walking.  In the past it's helped me to clear my head.  But by focusing on creativity rather than all my worries, I was actually able to come up with the idea for a whole new format for my blog, which I will unveil next week.  I mapped out the whole thing while on a quick, twenty-minute walk.  I totally recommend checking out this book.  It's a whole new way of looking at weight-loss.

The second part of my list of goals focuses on interpersonal issues and is a lot less concrete in nature than Part I.  Though I still incorporate specific and realistic objectives, they seem to be less measurable.  These goals are about overcoming longstanding tendencies and habits as well as looking at the ways in which I interact with others.

4.  I will be more productive in various areas of life (household obligations, writing, activities, etc.): 

• by taking a shower and getting dressed every day.  Also, I will do my makeup - after all, I am a Mary Kay lady!  Getting dressed as if I have a job to go to helps get me going.  Working in my pj's, though it sounds appealing, just doesn't work for me.  I know this.  So it just makes sense to dress as though I have things to do and people to see because I do!


• when I designate two to three days per week for specific tasks.  I know I'm not likely to spend every day cleaning (I hate cleaning!), but if I designate one day for laundry and one for vacuuming, I'm more likely to get them done and out of the way.


• by delegating certain tasks to the kids.  They're 7 and 9.  They can take on small household chores.  This will teach them responsiblity as well as aid in the saving of my sanity.  Win, win.  Yay!

5.  I will maintain and nurture my support networks:

• by talking to at least one friend on the phone each week.  I have lots of wonderful and supportive friends, but I find it gets so easy to forget that in the frenzy of everyday life.


• by utilizing technology such as email and social networking to keep up with close friends.  I just signed up for Facebook and MySpace.  I'm not very technologically inclined, but we have such fabulous means of communication, why wouldn't I want to use them to make my life easier?


• while visiting at least one friend each week.  Technology's great, but there's nothing like getting together face-to-face.  I have the best time with my friends, most of whom have kids.  So why not pack the little monsters up in the van and go spend some time with other moms?  Again, saving my sanity.  I'm beginning to see a theme here.

• by taking time to sit with him on the couch at the end of the day three to four times a week.  It's so tempting to just sprawl out on the couch, exhausted, after the kids go to sleep.  We should at least be exhausted together. 


• by making an effort to discuss the occasional issue when it arises, or shortly thereafter, rather than letting it go and grow.  Things don't just go away because I choose not to deal with them.


• by encouraging him in his own interests and pursuits outside of the family.  Poor man never gets any time to himself.  I think that women inherently need more of this, but I suppose men are entitled as well.  So I'll remind him to do something he likes to do every now and again.

It took a long time, but I did say in my last post that goal setting is hard.  And don't they always say that anything worth doing isn't easy?  Or something like that.  Anyway, I wrote my list of short-term goals.  Lord knows it's a work in progress, but I think this is a pretty good start.  I'm not feeling ready to tackle long-term goals yet, so in true baby steps fashion, I'll just consider the time between now and the end of summer.

In teaching my study skills course, I would always discuss goal setting before getting down to the nitty grtitty techniques like note-taking, effective study habits, and test prep.  This annoyed my students, who just wanted to know how to study with the least amount of work involved.  But I know from providing mental health counseling and from the text books I've read that having a plan in place is pretty much required if you want to achieve your goals successfully.  Your goals must be realistic and achievable.  They must also be specific, with objectives in place for attaining them.  For example, I'd always tell my students that a good short-term goal for the semester is not "to get good grades."  What are good grades?  What do you have to do to achieve your definition of good grades?  How much time will you have to put in each week?  How will you handle set backs?  Blah, blah, blah.  I know.  But it's true.  Having a realistic action plan will improve your chances of goal success.  Going day to day without a map is what I've been doing since leaving my job in October, and I know it doesn't work.  So here's what I intend to do to change that.

1.  I will lose 15 pounds of post-baby weight:

• by cutting back on wheat and milk, which I'm allergic to.  They give me cold symptoms and make me tired.  I lost 16 pounds in 3 months once by doing this.  I know I can do it again.  So this is realistic.


• when I exercise three to four days a week.  I can go for a walk, take the kids swimming, and do yoga or pilates in my living room.  I'm not planning any marathons here.  Baby steps.

• when we go outside for activities, like walking, swimming, visiting friends, or going to the park at least three to four days per week.  Due to weather conditions, fatigue (mine, not theirs!), household or other obligtions, I feel it's reasonable to spend some days at home.


• by keeping a routine each day, I can get work done in the morning while Brady naps and then spend time doing fun stuff in the afternoon.  See, I've got a plan - I'm no longer just going through my days willy nilly.

• as I take the first step by contacting local papers and regional publications to ask about their need for freelance contributors.


• by sending in short material, like tips and fillers, to magazines who accept such unsolicited material.


• when I send queries to magazines and websites according to their writers' guidelines.


• by maintaining my morning work schedule, as much as I possibly can with a baby and two active children, in order to write, research, and query.