Everyday Baby Steps

I know I say it constantly, but time and time again, something happens to remind me that things happen for a reason; I don't believe in coincidence. And you may not either after you hear my story.  It all has to do with my online friends and my offline friends and how they've come to intersect.  Are you interested?  Let me tell you more!

If you are a blogger, you've probably heard of the HP Magic Giveaway, you know the one where HP and Microsoft have given $6000 worth of computer equipment to 50 bloggers to give away on their blogs.  If you haven't heard about it, you'll want to check it out, as I believe there are several contests still going on.

Regular readers of my blog may hear me mention my blogging friends every now and again.  Well, Caroline from Morningside Mom is one of my favorite online friends.  I admire her dedication to various causes and how she genuinely cares about people.  I enjoyed her blog for some time, but after interviewing her for my Friday Feature Profile series, I realized we had many things in common, including a professional background in higher education.  Another thing we share is the belief that things happen for a reason.  We've had a number of conversations online and off about how we're meant to be blogging because of the wonderful opportuntiies and community it has brought to us.

So when I found out that Caroline had the opportunity to be involved in the HP Magic Giveaway, I was thrilled.  The premise of the giveaway is to share the magic with those less fortunate, and I knew lots of ways I could share that $6000 prize package.  Then I read her rules, which said that Caroline didn't want friends to enter her contest because she didn't want her ultimate decision on the winner to be prejudiced in any way.  That's just the kind of gal Caroline is.

Even though we've never met in person, I do consider Caroline a friend.  So I knew I couldn't enter her contest.  But that didn't mean I couldn't pass the word onto the real-life friend I had intended to nominate for the prize.  So that's exactly what I did.  I sent my friend Laura, who has recently started a non-profit organization for teenage mothers, a link to Caroline's contest.

Imagine my surprise when Laura called to tell me that she won the contest! Amazing. (By the way, that's Laura next to me in the short sleeve black top) What are the chances?  Neither Laura nor I told Caroline of our association with each other. Let me repeat, Caroline had no idea that Laura and I knew each other and was, therefore, unbiased in making her decision. After talking to Laura, I called Caroline right away - I couldn't contain my excitement.  Neither could she.  Caroline received over 300 entries for her contest and agonized over the decision. But she said she kept coming back to Laura's organization, Moms Without Moms, specifically The Laura Walker Project, the maternity group home named for Laura's mother who was tragically killed by her father when Laura was just a little girl.

Caroline was relieved to know that I am friends with Laura and that she has proof her decision was a good one.  She now knows without a shadow of a doubt that the organization receiving this computer equipment will benefit from it and that it will be used to help educate young mothers and to help them learn skills to enhance their lives. Isn't it amazing?  Again, I ask, what are the chances?  Coincidence?  I don't think so.  What do you think?

If you'd like to learn more about The Laura Walker Project, go to the web site.  Also, check out Caroline's post detailing the prize winner.  I can tell you the prize package is going to a well-deserving organization.  Though I know there were others just as deserving, it's apparent to me that Caroline made a well thought out decision that happened for a reason.

Also, if you're looking for a charity to donate to for the holidays, please consider the Laura Walker Project.  Thank you.

I am so very blessed.  My youngest child, my baby, Brady turned 8 months old on Friday.  My third child.  The one I never,in my wildest dreams, envisioned.  He's so beautiful.  So smart, and happy, and good.  He fills my days with smiles and laughter.  He also breaks up my slumber with his infant needs and causes me to work in very limited spurts throughout the day.  But he is amazing, and I love him.  I couldn't imagine my life without him.

This baby I can't imagine living without was never in my plans.  When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified to tell my husband.  You know, my husband who's 20 years older than I am.  At this stage in his life, he wasn't prepared to have his very first biological child.  He was adjusting to marriage and to the role of step-father to a 6 and an 8-year old.  Bless his heart, he took the news surprisingly well.

Two of my very close friends, who had both had recent miscarriages, were also surprisingly supportive when I told them the news.  I worried about telling these beautiful women, who wanted desperately to have a baby, that I was pregnant without even trying, without even wanting another child.  I had two perfect children.  A boy and a girl, two years apart in age, and my daughter had just started first grade.  No more daycare costs to worry about during the school year.  Two kids who could practically care for themselves in almost every way.  I wasn't feeling at all ready to go back to diapers, sleepless nights, and constant feedings.  I really wasn't.

But on my baby's 8-month birthday, I couldn't be happier.  Brady brings my family together like I never expected.  The kids adore him and are so loving with him.  His daddy's eyes sparkle when he interacts with him.  I'm on a totally different path in my life than I ever imagined, working toward a freelance writing career that I had only dreamed about before.

And on my baby's 8-month birthday, I learned of the tragic loss of another baby.  My ex-husband called to tell me the news of the death of our college friend's baby.  What makes  this loss even more tragic is the fact that the couple knew from nearly the beginning of the pregnancy that the baby would not live much past birth.  He was diagnosed, through an early ultrasound, with Potter's Syndrome.  This disease causes a baby to form without kidneys and/or ureters (the tubes that carry urine to the bladder for excretion).  A baby with Potter's Syndrome has little chance to survive.  In the case of our friend's baby, he lived only an hour.

Why?  Why were we given such a beautiful, unexpected gift when others close to us were denied that same gift?  Not only denied the gift, but stripped of it in such painful, tragic ways.  I don't know why.  What I know is that I have to cherish and appreciate my gift, to hold him so tightly, to never take him or his siblings for granted.  Never.

Kim, one of my scrapbooking buddies, recently sent me a forward that totally summed up the concept of gratitude and thankfulness for me.  I always try to look at life from a perspective of all that I have, rather than what I'm currently lacking, but we all know it can be hard.  I'd like to share this poem with you.  I hope it is as meaningful to you as it was to me!

I Am Thankful:

For the wife who says it's hotdogs tonight, because she is home with me and not out with someone else.

For the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

For the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes, because it means she is home, not on the streets.

For the taxes I pay, because it means I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

For the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.

For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters tha need fixing, because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means we have freedom of speech.

For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking, and I have been blessed with transportation.

For my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church who sings off key, because it means I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive.

And, finally, for too much e-mail, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me!

If you enjoyed the perspective this poem gives, please pass it on!  I am grateful for the abundance I have in my life, particularly for the opportunities I have recently been granted.

Yesterday afternoon, I looked out my front door and saw a package.  I didn't order anything and thought it must have been something from my mom.  Then I saw that it was from Amazon.  That didn't seem like my mom's style.  She usually sends things for the kids and uses about a roll of packaging tape to secure the box.  She also includes bright, pretty stickers or labels.  It's pretty hard to miss a package from my mom!

So I brought the box inside, wondering what it could be.  When I opened the top and looked inside, I saw the first book, The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life by Julia Cameron, and I knew who it was from.  Last week, I talked on the phone to my blogger friend, Angela from Unexpected Art.  She talked to me about her blogging experience for my Friday Feature Profile series, and we also got to talking about off-topic things like books.  Angela highly recommended Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way, for unleashing your creativity.

Sure enough, The Artist's Way was also in the box, along with The Artist's Way Workbook, the companion journal to the book.  I nearly cried.  This wonderful woman, whom I never even met face to face, knew that these books would be meaningful to me and that I'm not currently in a financial position to buy them for myself.  So she sent them to me with this note, "Just a little something to get you inspired."

This act of friendship of kindness is more than "just a little something", and I will use the books to move my writing and my personal growth in the right direction.  Thank you, Angela, for your kindness and for your inspiration!  For your friendship, I am thankful.

Today I am thankful for my father-in-law, Lew.  He's taking us all to dinner this afternoon at Ponderosa.  The kids love it.  And he loves it, too.  Lew will turn 93 next month, and he lost his second wife just a couple years ago.  I know get oftens gets lonely.

So he takes his "kids", the youngest of whom is my 54-year old husband, to breakfast every Tuesday morning.  Anyone who can come shows up to spend time together and have a meal.  It's great fun.  And he usually invites someone to go to dinner with him a few times a week.  Tonight's our turn.  Lew always pays.

I love spending time with Lew.  The smile on his face when he watches the kids just melts your heart.  He's just fascinated with his newest grandson; he thinks Brady is a very advanced baby.  "Look at him smiling.  He's really paying attention good.  He can sure hold that head up, can't he?"  I guess it's been a while since Lew's been around babies.  But he's a proud grandpa.

And he's a generous and giving soul.  If it weren't for Lew, we wouldn't have our home.  He gave us the down payment.  I remember the first time he came over.  There were tears in his eyes as I gave him the tour.  I think he was happy for his son.

So today, and every day, I am thankful for my wonderful father-in-law.  I'm looking forward to seeing him today and to hearing one of wonderful stories.  He's got a lot of them, you know.  I hope I live to be 93.

Click Mister Linky to add your Thankful Thursday post.

One more thanks goes out this morning.  This time to Willow at Apron Strings and Angst.  Willow chose ME for an award - the "Sharing the Love Award", no less.  I'm so honored.  Today is a banner day for me with the recognition I received from MomDot (see post below) and this wonderful award!  Thank you, Willow.

Memoirsofamommy.com says The rules of this award are: SHARE THE LOVE!!! Share this award with all those blogs out there that you love. All the people who make you smile. All those that make you laugh. All those that make your day. All those that leave uplifting comments on your blog. **All I ask, is that you include a link to this post with the award and ask your recipient to do the same**

Choosing blogs to pass the love onto was hard.  I love so many.  But here are my choices, those blogs and bloggers that have had an impact on me or to whom I feel a connection.

Walking Through - Nadia is so eloquent; she writes absolutely beautiful posts.  And her insight always puts things in perspective for me!

Magic and Mayhem - Alicia's blog is new to me, but I feel like I've met a kindred spirit.  She adds an intelligent spin to her posts that I love.

We Make Three - Myra writes some of the most heartfelt posts and was one of the first people to welcome me to the blogging world.  She's just wonderful.

One-Woman Show - Of course, I can't forget Susan.  She's my writing buddy, the first blogger friend I met in person.  And she's funny; her posts are so relatable!

ParentsCanada.com -  Lisa is a freelance writer who has been very generous in offering me advice.  Her site is packed full of great content and useful information for parents.

Ann Again...and Again - Doesn't everyone love Ann?  She's so friendly and honest in her posts.  She's also a hoot - she cracks me up!

There they are - the blogs I'm sharing the love with .  Go check them out, and tell them Mary sent you!

Though it's not an original category, I will be using the Thankful Thursday theme each week because I feel it's quite applicable to the tone of my blog and to the direction in which I am taking my life.  I started blogging as a way to live my life intentionally and to make lasting changes.  And we all know that the self-help experts (think The Secret) advocate being grateful for what you have as a way to become satisfied and to attain self-fulillment. 

Have I mentioned my love of non-fiction books?  It's almost as addictive strong as my love of magazines.  Almost.  Before the phenomenon of The Secret, there was Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  Does anyone remember that one?  I think Oprah featured it as well.  This book focused on being grateful for what you have and recommended keeping a gratitude journal each day.  My journal helped to get me through a time in my life when money was tight and my support network was far away.  I will definitely be reaching for my copy of Simple Abundance as I continue on my journey toward personal discovery, however, now that I have three kids, perhaps I'll use Thankful Thursday as a way to document my appreciation instead of a daily gratitude journal!  Feel free to join me!  Click the Mister Linky tab to link your Thankful Thursday post, and please leave a comment.  Thanks.

My older two kids left early to spend the weekend with their dad yesterday, so it was just me and the baby.  After running errands between his catnaps, I settled in to enjoy some mommy/baby bonding time.  It hit me what a rare quiet moment I was enjoying with my newest offspring.  In the first two early months of sleep deprivation and constant feedings, on top of taking care of his brother and sister and their school schedules, I really hadn't had much of a chance to just really sit and enjoy him.  Add to that the incredible stress of money worries.  (We won't even go there - this post is about positive thinking!)  I also realized that I hadn't taken many pictures of him recently.  When we first brought him home, it seemed I was snapping photos at every opportunity.  Oh look, the baby's sleeping.  Daddy's feeding the baby; how cute!  The baby's first bath, better get the camera.  But as of late, the camera hadn't gotten much use.  So I put him on his belly and went into the bedroom to grab the camera. 

And when I returned. . .

Little stinker decided to roll over, and I missed it.  Thank goodness this wasn't the first time or I'd have been ticked! One of the errands I ran today was at the Public Assistance office to finish my application for food stamps.  The secretary was a woman I had once helped in MY office when I was a college advisor.  She told me she didn't blame me for making the decision to leave work because they grow up so fast; her own children are now 18 and 21.  Thank you, Public Assistance secretary (whose name I will keep anonymous), for helping me to appreciate the time I have and to trust that I'm making the best decisions I can for my family.  Baby steps will get us through this summer, and I can focus on earning a more substantial income when the kids are back in school.  In the meantime, I will simply focus on enjoying these special moments, one moment at a time.