There is an article in the August issue of O, The Oprah Magazine that I have been contemplating for a few weeks now. I've been meaning to write about it a while, but other topics have come up. However, it's still been lurking in the back of my mind, so I've decided that it's something I'm meant to explore.
"YOU Are an Excellent Woman!" proclaimed the headline on the cover. Well, who could resist picking up the magazine and flipping through it, right? I've been interested in women and identity formation since taking an Introduction to Women's Studies course my freshmen year of college. What an eye opener it was to learn about concepts I had always intuitively known and to have them validated by other like-minded women!
Back to the magazine article, titled "Women and the Negativity Factor." The writer, Aimee Lee Ball, discusses her own personal experience with feeling not "good enough", and she reminds us of a line in the movie Pretty Woman in which Julia Roberts responds to a compliment from Richard Gere, "The bad stuff is easier to believe." 
Why? Even the strongest, most intelligent, spectacular women I know are prone to silly, stupid insecurities. We tend to let fear hold us back or we add qualifiers to our sentences such as "It wasn't too hard" or "Anyone could've done it". Why don't women give themselves full credit when receiving compliments? Why do we worry that our flaws will be exposed?
According to a neuropsychiatrist quoted in the article, "It turns out there's an area of your brain that's assigned the task of negative thinking." There's also a phenomenon called "the drive for self-verification" involved, in which we desire others to "reflect the beliefs we hold about ourselves". It's this drive that causes the bad experiences to override the good and makes it easier to believe the negative.
The good news from the article is that scientific findings state the brain is forever changing and that it is likely to adapt to modifications in our negative thinking. The more we work to turn our thinking around, the easier it will be for our brains to process our experiences in a positive way. The experts quoted say that a change in thinking won't occur overnight; it will take time to outweigh a lifetime of ingrained experiences. They liken this change in thought process to that of the change in your body after engaging in a regular workout regimen - just as your body will become toned and lean, your thoughts can become more positive and forgiving. It's nice to see a scientific angle to the psychological approach I've taken both personally as well as with former clients and students. I firmly believe that thoughts drive actions and behavior. The trick is to practice the positive thinking to bring about the feelings we desire.
Just in the right time, thank you Mary... These last few days I was occupied by negative thoughts and I felt so bad about it. I keep remembering the first article that you wrote about being Positive and thankful to all the blessing that I received. But my mind just can’t stop thinking of negative thoughts. I think I have to bear in mind the last things that you said “to practice the positive thinking to bring about the feelings we desire”.